Mother’s Day A Historical Overview and the Scholars’ Rulings on This Day (1)

Mother’s Day

A Historical Overview and the Scholars’ Rulings on This Day (1)

Definition of the Word ‘Eid

 

  As  Mother’s  Day  is known  in Arabic as “Eid  al-Umm”  or “Mothers’ Festival”; the word Eid is derive from the root ‘aada/ya’ood meaning to come back or return.

  Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:

“‘Eid  (festival)  is  a  name  that  is  given  to  an  occasion  which returns,  when  people  gather  in  a  festive manner, whether  that  is annual  or  weekly  or  monthly  and so on.” (Iqtidaa’  al-Siraat  al- Mustaqeem, 1/441).

  Ibn ‘Aabideen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

“ An ‘Eid is so called because Allaah repeatedly bestows blessings, i.e., kinds of blessings that come back to His slaves on these days, such as breaking the fast after refraining from eating, sadaqat al-fitr (obligatory  charity paid  at  the  end of  Ramadaan), completing the Hajj by doing Tawaaf al-Ziyaarah, the sacrificial meats, and so on;  and because the  tradition  on  such occasions is  to  express joy and  happiness,  and  to  be  energetic  and  happy.” (Haashiyat  Ibn‘Aabideen, 2/165)

How many festivals are there in Islam?

 

  The Muslim may note the large number of festivals that are observed among  the  Muslims  nowadays,  such  as  the  Festival  of  Trees, Workers’ Day (May Day), anniversaries of the king’s accession to the throne, birthdays, etc… There is a long list of such days, but each of these is the  innovation of the Jews, Christians and polytheists; they have no basis in Islam. There are no festivals in Islam apart from ‘Eid al-Adhaa´ and ‘Eid al-Fitr.

 

  It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik said:

“During the Jaahiliyyah,  the  people  had  two  days  each year  when  they  would  play.  When  the  Prophet  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came to Madeenah he said, ‘You had two days on which you would play, but Allaah  has  given  you  something  better  than  them:  the day  of  al-Fitr  and  the  day  of  al-Adha.” (Narrated  by  Abu Dawood, 1134; al-Nasaa’i, 1556; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al- Albaani).

 

Honouring one’s mother

 

  Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Worship  Allaah  and  join  none  with  Him  (in worship); and do good to parents, kinsfolk,  orphans, Al-Masaakeen (the poor),  the  neighbour  who is  near of  kin,  the  neighbour  who  is  a  stranger, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (you meet), and those (slaves) whom your right hands possess. Verily, Allaah does not like such as are proud and boastful.” [al-Nisaa4:36]

 

  And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

 “And  your  Lord  has  decreed  that  you  worship  none but  Him.  And that you  be  dutiful to  your  parents.  If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say  not  to  them  a  word  of  disrespect,  nor  shout  at them but address them in terms of honour” [al-Isra’ 17:23]

 

  It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah  said:

“A man came to the  Messenger  of  Allaah (pbuh )  and  said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, who among the people is  most deserving of my good company?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ He  asked,  ‘Then  who?’  He  said,  ‘Your  mother.’ He asked,  ‘Then  who?’  He  said,  ‘Your  mother.’  He  asked, ‘Then who?’ He said, ‘Then your father.” (Narrated by al- Bukhaari, 5626; Muslim, 2548)

 

  Al-Haafidh ibn Hajar said:

 “Ibn  Battaal  said:  what  this  means  is  that  the mother  should  be honoured  three  times  more  than  the  father.  He  said,  that  is because  of  the  difficulties  of  pregnancy,  then  giving  birth,  then breastfeeding.  These  are  hardships  that  are  experienced  only  by the  mother,  then  the  father  shares  with  her  in  raising  the  child. This  is  also  referred  to  in  the  aayah  (interpretation  of  the meaning):

‘And  We  have  enjoined  on  man  (to  be  dutiful  and good)  to  his  parents.  His  mother  bore  him  in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years’ [Luqmaan 31:14]

 

  So  the  recommendation  to  be  dutiful  and  good  refers  to both parents,  but  the  mother’s  share  is  greater  because  of  the  three things mentioned above. Al-Qurtubi said: what is meant is that the mother  deserves  a  greater  share  of  her  child’s  honour,  and  her rights  take  precedence  over  those  of  the  father in  cases  where  a choice must be made. ‘Iyaad said: the majority of scholars were of the view that the mother takes precedence over the father in terms of  honouring  one’s  parents.  And  it  was  said  that  both  must  be honoured equally, and this was narrated by some from Maalik, but the  former  view  is  the  one  which  is  correct.” (Fath  al-Baari, 10/402).

 

  Indeed,  even  if  one's  mother  is  a  mushrikah  (polytheist),  the  wise and pure sharee’ah of Islam encourages one to uphold ties of kinship with her:

It was narrated that Asmaa´ bint Abi Bakr  said:

“My  mother  came  to  visit  me  at  the  time  of  the Messenger  of  Allaah  (pbuh )  and  she  was  a  mushrikah.  I consulted  the  Messenger  of  Allaah  (pbuh ),  saying,  ‘My mother has come to visit me for some purpose, should I uphold  ties  of kinship  with  my  mother?’ He  said,  ‘Yes, uphold  ties of kinship  with  your mother.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2477)

 

Mothers in Kaafir Countries

 

  Those who study the situation of families in general and of mothers in  particular  in  the  non-Muslim  societies  will  hear  and  read  of strange  things.  You  can  hardly  find  any  complete  family  whose members  keep  in  touch  with  one  another,  let  alone  meeting  and conversing or staying together. As some observers in kaafir countries have said: “In the marketplaces or streets you may see a mother and her son or daughter, or a father and his son or daughter, but you will rarely see a whole family going shopping or walking in the streets.” When the father or mother grows old, the best among their children hastens to put them in seniors’ homes. Some Muslims went to some of these homes and asked a dozen of seniors what their greatest wish was. All of them said, “Death!” That is only because each of them is living in misery, grief and regret for the way they have ended up and the  way  their  children  have  deserted  them  at  the  time  when  they need them most.

 

Timing of Mother’s Day in Different Countries

 

  The  date  of  Mother’s  Day,  and  the  way  in  which  it  is  celebrated, differs from one country to another. In Norway it is celebrated on the second Sunday in February.  In Argentina it  is  celebrated  on  the second Sunday in October. In Lebanon it is on the first day of spring. In South Africa it is celebrated on the first Sunday in May. In France it is celebrated more as a family festival, on the last Sunday in May, when family members get together for dinner, then they give a cake to the mother.

 

  Sweden also has a holiday for Family Day on the last Sunday of May. A few days before that the Swedish Red Cross sells small plastic roses for people to give to their mothers who will spend the holiday taking care of their children. In Japan this day is celebrated on the second Sunday in May, as in North America, where exhibitions are held of pictures  drawn  by  children  aged  6-14;  these  exhibitions  are  called “My  Mother”  This  exhibition  is  moved  every  four  years  and  has appeared in a number of countries.

 

Mother’s Day – A Historical Overview

 

  Some researchers have said:

“Some historians have suggested that Mother’s Day started with the ancient Greeks’ celebrations of spring festivals. These festivals were devoted to the mother goddess Rhea, the wife of Cronos, the father  god.  In  ancient  Rome  there  was  a  similar  celebration devoted to  the worship or veneration  of Sybil, another mother of the  gods.  This began approximately 250 years before the birth of the  Messiah  [peace be upon  him]. These religious celebrations of the Romans were called  “Hilaria”  and lasted for  three  days  from March 15 to March 18.”

 

Sunday in England

 

  This was a day similar to the modern Mother’s Day celebration, but it was  called  “Mothering  Sunday”  or  (the  Sunday  half-way  through Lent),  because it  occurred during their major fasting period (Lent). Some say that the celebrations that were held to worship and honour the Roman goddess Sybil were changed by the church to celebrations meant  to  honour  and  venerate  Mary  (peace  be  upon  her).  This custom  began  with  some  people  encouraging  people  to  visit  the central  church  in  their  locality,  bringing  offerings.  In 1600 young men and women of simple professions and servants started to visit their mothers on “Mothering Sunday”, bringing gifts and food. This is what happened in England. In the USA it was a different story.

 

The United States

 

  Anna M. Jarvis (1864-1948): She had the idea of making Mother’s Day an official holiday in the United States.  She never married and she had a very strong relationship with her mother. She was the daughter of a minister and Grafton, West Virginia.  Two  years  after  her  mother  died,  she launched  a  campaign  addressed  to  bosses,  ministers  and congressmen,  to  declare  Mother’s  Day  an  official  holiday  in  the country. She felt that children did not appreciate what their mothers had  done  for  them  during  their lives,  and  she  hoped  that  this  day would  strengthen  the  feelings  of  children  for  their  mothers  and fathers, and strengthen family ties.

 

The Beginning

 

  The church honoured Miss Anna Jarvis in Grafton, West Virginia, and in Philadelphia and Pennsylvania on May 10, 1908. This was the beginning of Mother’s Day in the United States. Carnations  were  one  of  her  mother’s  favourite  flowers,  especially white  ones,  because  they  were  supposed  to  represent  goodness, purity and patience, which are characteristic  of  a mother’s  love. As time went by, red carnations became a symbol that the mother was still alive, and white carnations became a symbol that the mother had passed away.

 

  The first official declaration of Mother’s Day in the United States was in West Virginia and Oklahoma in 1910. In 1911 the entire U.S. celebrated this day.  By  then  these  celebrations  had  also  spread  to Mexico, Canada, China,  Japan,  Latin America  and  Africa. Then  the U.S. Congress officially agreed to announce celebrations of Mother’s Day,  on  May  10,  1913,  and  the  first  Sunday  in  May  was chosen  as Mother’s Day.

 

Mother’s Day in the Arab World

 

  The  idea  of  celebrating  Mother’s  Day  in  the  Arab  world  began  in Egypt, and was started by the two brothers Mustafa and ‘Ali Ameen, the  founders  of  the  Akhbaar  al-Yawm  newspaper.  ‘Ali  Ameen himself  had  received  a  letter  from  a  mother  complaining  of  her children’s  meanness  and bad  treatment  towards  her,  and  suffering because of their failure to appreciate her. It so happened that another mother  visited Mustafa Ameen in his office and  told him her story; briefly, she had been widowed when her children were small, and she had not remarried. She had devoted her life to her children, playing the role of both father and mother, spending all her energy in taking care  of  her  children,  until  they  left  to  go  to  university  and  get married. Each of them was living an independent life, and they only visited her on rare occasions. Mustafa Ameen and ‘Ali Ameen wrote in their famous column Fikrah (“Idea”) suggesting that a day should be set aside for mothers, to remember their virtues. They pointed out that the west  did that, and that  Islam enjoined  taking care of one’s mother.  Many  letters  were  sent  to  the  newspaper,  supporting  this idea.  Some  suggested  that  a  whole  week  should  be  devoted  to mothers,  not  just one day, and others rejected  the  idea, saying  that every day of the  year  should be for  one’s mother, not just  one day. But most readers agreed with the idea of setting aside one day, and they voted to choose March 21, which is also the first day of spring, to be  Mother’s  Day  and  a  symbol  of  open-heartedness,  purity  and beautiful feelings. Egypt celebrated Mother’s Day for the first time on March 21, 1956. From Egypt this idea spread to other Arab countries. At some  point some  people  suggested  that Mother’s Day should  be called Family Day, so as to honour fathers as well, but this idea was not  widely accepted, as people thought that  this detracted from the rights of mothers, or they accused the proponents of the Family Day idea  of  thinking  that  it  was  too  much  to  allocate  a  day  just  for mothers. Even now the Arab countries still celebrate this day through the various kinds of media and honour the ideal mothers who have gone  through  immense  struggles  for  their  children’s  sake  at  every level. After knowing that, it comes as no surprise that most  of those who celebrate  Mother’s Day are  the  Jews  and Christians and  those  who imitate them, and that they say that this is because of their concern for women and mothers, and that Mother’s Day is celebrated by some of the Masonic clubs in the Arab world such as the Rotary Club and Lions Club. We  may  also  note  that  Mother’s  Day,  which  is  March  21 (in  the st Arab  world) is also  the  New  Year  of the  Coptic Christians,  and  the Nawroz festival of the Kurds.

 

By: Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid